Contactless Employment is the New Professionalism
Bid Adieu to Physical Contact in the Workplace
First came contactless payment then Covid brought contactless delivery. Now, I would like to propose contactless employment.
No more greeting one another with a shake of the hand, no more end-of-retreat hugs, no more trust falls, none of it. I do not want to be touched in a work setting. Is that too much to ask?
This existed for a brief time as the world started to emerge from Covid-19. In an AP article titled “To shake hands or not? An age-old human gesture now in limbo,” it is questioned whether the handshake will ever come back or if it is the end of the long-running custom.
Spoiler alert: it came back.
The article states “The handshake has been around for centuries. A widely held belief is that it originated to prove to someone that a person was offering peace and not holding a hidden weapon. But hands can be germy — coated with fecal matter and E. coli.” Gross.
Can we go back to this period where it was acceptable to not touch?
For some reason, this period was short-lived and most ended up referring back to pre-pandemic protocols. Maybe folks were sick of feeling isolated and were seeking previous normalcy via handshake salutations.
I am not sure but what I do know is it was enjoyable while it lasted. An introvert’s dream come true. Meeting another human being and having zero expectations of having to physically contact that individual–the interaction focusing more on the content of the exchange and less on societal formalities. IT. WAS. GLORIOUS. I think about it all the time. Mostly, when I am obligated to succumb to societal norms, grasping the naked hand of another person. Ugh.
To be clear, my distaste is not referring to Covid-19. That is/was terrifying and terrible to experience but the touchless side effect showed we can successfully operate in a contactless society.
With that said, it’s not that I am currently concerned about the associated health risks–although sometimes that is true–it’s that I do not want to be physically handled. I want to be able to exert body autonomy and not be seen as rude if I verbalize my need for personal space.
Why is this a hill I am willing to die on you ask?
Well, I am someone who carries around a large bag of anxiety on my back, and removing this forced physical interaction would lighten my load tremendously. Given the opportunity for all parties to remain in their bubbles, it would free up some mental and emotional capacity to tackle the task at hand and present my true, authentic self. I could focus on my contributions and my brain power rather than societal norms and niceties.
Also, I am prone to sweaty palms for absolutely no reason at all. It’s been a way for my body to sabotage my human interactions my whole life. I vividly remember my sophomore year of high school when our class had a career coach give a presentation. I was not nervous, I was not upset, and yet, my hands were clammy pools. Out of nowhere, the career coach instructed us to turn to our neighbors and deliver a firm handshake as practice. I wanted to evaporate into thin air and disappear. I froze, unwilling to move, hoping my stillness would make me invisible. It didn’t. Out of my peripheral, I saw my classmate’s hand extended toward me, waiting for me to turn and reciprocate. I let it hang there as long as I could. The seconds crawled as I avoided this exchange, pretending I did not see her extremity dangling nearby. The teacher walked over and called me out, forcing my participation in the exercise. With extreme hesitation and in slow motion, I delivered a soaking wet handshake, stunning the receiver with the amount of moisture. A childhood trauma that haunts me to this day.
Additionally, my anxiety-riddled brain is stressed about the timing of the shake, how much pressure to use, and what the format of the greeting is in the first place. Is it a wave, a head nod (ideal), a handshake, or even a hug? Honestly, if anything, I prefer a hug to a handshake. Oddly, It feels less intimate for some reason. Maybe the lack of skin-to-skin contact? Maybe because it is less formal? Either way, I will hug people all day instead of placing my hand in someone else’s hand even once. And folks that prefer to hug, often make it very clear, saying “I’m a hugger” followed by an immediate move to bring it in. This practice is at least tolerated if not fully embraced. I wish it were acceptable to say “I’m a no toucher,” it be respected and we all carry on our merry ways.
Lastly, I just don’t want to be touched. Period. I recommend we borrow from some cultures that prioritize personal space over physical contact; Japan is a great example. According to the Japan National Tourism Organization, “In general, Japanese people are less prone to body contact during everyday interactions. This goes for kisses, hugs, and handshakes used as greetings, as well as other public displays of affection.”
What a concept!
Picture it. We see our co-workers in real life, we greet them with a cordial welcome, remaining inside our personal space. From an appropriate distance, we partake in a quick catch-up and then seamlessly transition to work-related topics. Could it get any better? Well yes. We could live in a world where we don’t have to work at all but that’s neither here nor there…
This goes for meeting new people in general too. Why do we need to physically engage whilst introducing ourselves to one another? When meeting someone new, 10/10 times I will miss your name anyway and have to ask again. At least I gave you an awkward, moist handshake, right? I digress.
The handshake action was once intended to represent a peaceful engagement but is no longer relevant. By 2024, this symbol of peace is archaic and it’s time to move on. Let’s instead focus on the content of the interaction and making a lasting impression based on intellect, personality, and disposition.
At best, the handshake is a sign of respect and at worst, it is a societal formality. I would rather respect you from a distance.